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October 21, 2019

How Fatherhood Sparked My Desire For Financial Independence

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On one fine summer day in 2011, I was zipping around on my new moped headed to the local Rite Aid convenience store. I had an incredibly important purchase I was about to make.

After breezing through the sliding doors, I headed straight back to the pharmacy area. I was beaming. I was grinning ear-to-ear.

Given my excited state, the pharmacist probably thought I was a virgin looking to score my first Trojans. Nope. I was after something much more important.

After securing the cargo, I headed back home to meet with my wife, Nicole.

We decided that the 3-pack of pregnancy tests was the best way to go. She’d take two tests and I’d take another one. That way, we’d be triply positive that these little white sticks weren’t defective.

Much to our extreme delight, my test was negative (phew!) and both of Nicole’s tests were positive. Those incredible pink plus signs had us jumping around our tiny bungalow like two kids on a sugar high. We were high! We were going to be parents!

Learning this monumental news made this specific day one of the best of our lives thus far. That day was also a major turning point for our young family. It propelled our lives in a whole new direction.

Ultrasound photo
Are you ready Dad?

Not Living for Me … Living for We

When the euphoria of becoming a father for the first time started to subside, a brand new thought process began to creep its way into my life. I quite rapidly started to think about the future and how I could best protect my growing family.

Evidently, this brain change for new fathers is quite common, according to Scientific American. In a 2014 article entitled “How a New Father’s Brain Changes,” they describe how a new Dad’s thought process is quite different from the new mother.

“Instead of thinking about cuddling or feeding the baby, dads-to-be focused on the future: They imagined saving money for a college fund or walking down the aisle at their daughter’s wedding.”

This article described my thought process in 2011 to a T!  My little Zoey was coming into our lives in 7 short months and I needed to get ready.

Up until this point, I had focused a lot on my own personal joy and that of my new wife. Now it was time to think about our child and our child’s future.

Related Article: 5 Ways Parents Can Help Their Kids Graduate College Without Student Loans

Goodbye Debt and Hello Future

Around this time, my interest in personal finance started to grow and I read a lot of books to plan for our family's future. When I saw my little girl in the ultrasound, my passion for learning and my desire to win for my family accelerated immensely.

We were in the midst of paying off around $50,000 worth of debt that had been accumulated from past student loans and a car loan. Nicole and I decided to focus our efforts more intently over the remainder of the year and rid ourselves of our consumer debt completely.

A key element to our debt freedom plan was the monthly ritual that we dubbed “The Budget Party”. (Yes, it does sound like those two words go together like oil and water, but hey whatever works, right?)

We’d meet (and still do) on the first of each month and review three things:

  1. The spending plan for the month
  2. Dreams for our family’s future
  3. Actions we’d need to take to reach those goals

These monthly meetings allowed us to both have a voice in our family’s future and craft solid plans to win with our finances.

Our diligence and partnership paid off … literally. By the year’s end, we were debt-free. Evidently bringing a human into the world kickstarts your financial maturity!

Related Article: How to Throw a Budget Party with Your Spouse

The Power of Intentionality

My new-found passion for improving our family’s finances started to become a habit. Once we achieved one large goal that further secured a healthy future for our family, I was primed and ready for the next one.

Over the next few years, we began dreaming of even bigger goals that could truly strengthen our family tree.

  • In 2013, we purchased our dream house with 40% down and set the goal of paying off our mortgage in less than five years.
  • By 2014, our ability to save and consistently plan our monthly cash flow allowed Nicole to leave her job and become a stay-at-home Mom when our son Calvin was born.
  • In 2016, I started a blog to hold myself accountable to our goals and chronicle our journey to financial independence
  • In 2017, we completely paid off our $195,000 mortgage … one year ahead of schedule.
  • In 2018, we increased our charitable giving from 1% to 3% of our income
  • Now in 2019, we’re crafting our life and work schedules around our passions and our family. 
Andy, Nicole and the Hill Family on the bed
The Hill Family – Andy, Calvin, Zoey and Nicole

The drive, focus, and intentionality that we’ve brought into our daily habits have all been centered on how we can secure the best future for our family. Investing for Zoey and Calvin’s college tuition, setting up our last will and testament and leaving a legacy of financial knowledge are all things we've focused on over the past few years.

Before having my little girl I didn’t think much further than what I had planned for the following weekend. Now, I am planning for the rest of my life. I owe it to Zoey for changing my perspective and leading us onto the path toward financial freedom.



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Who has motivated you to make a positive change in your life?

Please let us know in the comments below.



This article was originally featured in STAND Magazine issue 07. If you're a man who gives a damn, check out this magazine. 


Andy Hill

Andy Hill is the award-winning writer, speaker and podcaster behind Marriage, Kids and Money - a platform dedicated to helping young families build wealth and thrive. Andy's advice and personal finance experience has been featured in major media outlets like Business Insider, MarketWatch, Kiplinger’s Personal Finance and NBC News. Trusted as a personal finance influencer and corporate financial wellness speaker by global brands like JLL, Andy’s message of family financial empowerment has resonated with listeners, readers and viewers across the world. When he's not "talking money", Andy enjoys wrestling with his two kids, singing karaoke with his wife and watching Marvel movies.

10 Comments

  • Our journey to financial security started when we were dating. We wanted options and our debt was limiting those options, so that became a huge focus throughout dating, engagement and early marriage. Then, like you, adding AR Jr. to our family certainly spurred further motivation and intentionality in spending and finances 🙂 Awesome post, Andy!

    ~Mrs. Adventure Rich

    Reply
    • That’s what I’m talkin’ about! It is amazing what we can do when we truly partner with our spouses. Family security is a HUGE motivator. Great work Mrs. AR!

      Reply
  • We don’t have any kids yet but they are a HUGE motivator for us to pay off student loan debt! I want to pay off as much as possible before we start having kids.

    Reply
    • You have the first step down then … you have a plan and a “Why”! Best of luck crushing that debt.

      Reply
  • I’m right where you were – my wife is pregnant, due in April, and I’ve already got info on how to open a 529 for the little guy! Plus I’ve been researching daycare costs as well as daycare FSAs and other tax-advantaged ways to pay for daycare. I know when he or she comes, I’m going to want to spend even more time at home, so I’ve been working on setting up passive income streams that will hopefully free me to be with our little one as much as possible.

    Reply
    • Joe, your child will be born into an incredible family. I’m so happy to hear that you’re planning so diligently. That’s inspiring!

      Reply
  • Our daughter just turned 1 and she has definitely motivated some big changes around here too. My wife and I never really minded working 50 hours a week before kids but now it seems insane. We are working hard to get her out of the 9-5 world next year and I’m hopefully only a few more years behind her.

    Reply
    • That is awesome! What excellent, family-focused goals you’ve set for yourselves. My wife Nicole is a stay-at-home Mom right now. Although she massively craves more adult interaction than she’s currently getting, she is very happy she’s been able to raise both of our kids and be very involved in their lives.

      Reply
  • Yes! Kids will completely change your life. We were lucky to be debt free (except the house) before our first-born arrived. But sparked by our passion to change their future, we had our house paid off by the time baby #3 rolled around. Which was a huge blessing…especially when we found out baby #4 was on the way!

    It’s amazing how much of our lives (and our kids’ lives) are shaped by choices we made 5, 10 or even 15 years ago.

    Reply
    • That’s incredible! 4 kids and financial freedom. Way to go Aaron!

      You’re proof that starting early pays off.

      Reply

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