How to Create a Family Will: 7 Simple Steps to Protect the People You Love
Creating our family will sat on our to-do list for years.
Not because it was difficult. Because it felt uncomfortable.
Talking about what would happen if Nicole and I died wasn't exactly how we wanted to spend a Saturday afternoon.
Like a lot of young parents, we kept putting it off.
Ironically, binge-watching Game of Thrones and House of Cards became the wake-up call we needed. Watching beloved characters disappear without warning reminded us that life is unpredictable. We realized protecting our kids was more important than another episode.
So we finally got it done.
Looking back, creating our family will was one of the smartest financial decisions we made as parents. Years later, when we created our family trust, those early conversations made the process much easier because we'd already thought through the most important decisions together.
If you've been putting off creating a will, you're not alone.
The good news is that getting started is much easier than most people think.
In this guide, I'll walk you through the same seven steps Nicole and I followed to create our family will, sign it properly, store it safely, and keep it updated as our family and financial life evolved.
If you're still deciding whether your family needs a will, a trust, or both, I recommend reading my guide on Will vs. Trust: Which Option Is Right for Your Family? first. Once you've decided a will is the right next step, come back here and I'll show you exactly how to get it done.
Who this guide is for
This guide is designed for individuals and families with a straightforward estate planning situation who want to create a legally valid will. If you have a blended family, own businesses or property in multiple states, or have other complex legal needs, working with an experienced estate planning attorney is often the better choice.
Why Every Family Needs a Will
If you're married, have children, own a home, or have accumulated meaningful assets, creating a will is one of the most important financial planning steps you can take.
A will gives you the opportunity to document your wishes before the unexpected happens.
For parents, that means naming a guardian for your children. It also allows you to choose an executor, explain how you'd like your assets distributed, and provide guidance for the people carrying out your wishes.
Without a will, many of those decisions may be left up to your state's laws instead of your family's preferences.
For Nicole and me, creating our will wasn't about expecting the worst.
It was about making life a little easier for the people we love if the worst ever happened.
Years later, we expanded our estate plan by creating a trust as our financial life became more complex. But our will was the foundation that made those later conversations much easier.
How to Create a Family Will in 7 Steps
Creating a will doesn't have to be overwhelming.
In fact, Nicole and I completed ours over the course of a weekend. The biggest hurdle wasn't the paperwork. It was finally deciding to sit down and have the conversations we'd been avoiding.
Here's the process I recommend to coaching clients and the same one Nicole and I followed.
1. Talk Through the Big Decisions Together
Before you open a will template or start filling out forms, set aside 30 to 60 minutes with your spouse to talk through the important decisions.
Some of the biggest questions include:
- Who will serve as the executor of your will?
- Who would become the guardian of your children if you both passed away?
- Are there specific family heirlooms or sentimental items you'd like to leave to certain people?
- Do you have preferences for your final arrangements?
When Nicole and I had these conversations, we realized there were a lot of topics we'd never discussed before. They weren't always easy, but they helped us get on the same page and made the rest of the process much smoother.
One conversation that deserves extra attention is choosing guardians for your children.
For us, it wasn't just about picking family members we loved. We talked about shared values, where they lived, the relationship they already had with our kids, and whether they were in a position to take on that responsibility if the unthinkable happened.
It's one of the most meaningful conversations you'll have as parents.
Don't rush it.
2. Choose the Right Way to Create Your Will
Once you've talked through the big decisions, it's time to actually create your will.
For most families with a straightforward financial situation, I recommend using Trust & Will. It's the service Nicole and I originally used to create our will, and years later we came back to it when we decided to create our trust.
What I appreciate most is that it walks you through the process step by step in plain English. You don't need to understand legal terminology or worry about whether you're filling out the right forms. Instead, you're guided through a series of questions, and your documents are created based on your answers.
If your situation is relatively simple, such as being married, raising children, owning a home, and building retirement savings, an online service like Trust & Will can be a great fit.
If, on the other hand, you have a blended family, own businesses or property in multiple states, or have other unique legal considerations, I'd recommend working directly with an experienced estate planning attorney.
The important thing is not to spend months debating which option is perfect.
It's to choose the approach that's right for your family and get your will completed.
If you'd like a closer look before getting started, check out my Trust & Will Review, where I walk through exactly what the process was like for our family.
3. Sign Your Will Properly
Once you've completed your will, you're almost done.
But don't skip the final step of making it legally valid.
Depending on your state's requirements, you'll likely need to sign your will in front of witnesses and, in many cases, have it notarized. While online services like Trust & Will make creating the documents straightforward, you'll still need to set aside a little time to complete the signing process correctly.
For Nicole and me, that meant scheduling a visit to our local UPS Store, where we found a notary and two witnesses. The entire process was simple, but it did take a little longer than we expected.
My advice is to plan ahead.
Don't rush through the final signatures or treat them as an afterthought. Give yourself enough time to carefully review your documents, ask questions if something doesn't look right, and complete everything according to your state's requirements.
After all, you've already done the hard work of making the important decisions. Taking a little extra time to sign everything properly ensures those decisions will be honored.
4. Tell the Right People
Creating your will is only part of the process.
The people you've chosen to help carry out your wishes should know about it, too.
Start by talking with the person you've selected as your executor. Let them know you've chosen them, explain why, and make sure they're comfortable taking on the responsibility.
If you've named guardians for your children, have that conversation with them as well.
These aren't always easy discussions, but they're far better to have today than to leave as a surprise for your loved ones later.
When Nicole and I chose guardians for our kids, we didn't just think about who loved them the most. We considered shared values, where they lived, the relationship they already had with our children, and whether they were in a position to take on that responsibility if the unthinkable happened.
Those conversations gave us confidence that everyone understood our wishes.
5. Store Your Will Somewhere Safe
Once your will is signed, make sure it's stored somewhere secure and easy for your loved ones to find.
Nicole and I keep our estate planning documents in a fireproof safe at home. We also have digital copies available through Trust & Will, which gives us an extra layer of confidence that our documents are accessible if we ever need them.
Wherever you choose to store your will, the most important thing is that your executor knows where to find it.
A perfectly written will won't do your family much good if no one knows it exists.
If you ever move, replace your documents, or change where they're stored, take a few minutes to let your executor know. It only takes one quick conversation, and it could save your loved ones a great deal of stress later.
6. Review Your Will After Major Life Changes
Creating your will isn't something you do once and forget forever.
As your family and financial life evolve, your will should evolve with it.
For Nicole and me, our first will was created when our daughter was born. A few years later, our son arrived, and it was time to update our documents. Over the years, we also bought a home, paid off our mortgage, built our investment accounts, started businesses, and continued growing our wealth.
Life changes.
Your will should keep up.
I recommend reviewing your will whenever you experience a major milestone, such as:
- Getting married or divorced
- Having or adopting a child
- Buying a home
- Starting a business
- Receiving a significant inheritance
- Experiencing a major increase in wealth
Even if none of those events occur, it's a good idea to review your will every few years to make sure it still reflects your wishes.
7. Let Your Estate Plan Grow With Your Life
One of the biggest reasons people procrastinate on creating a will is because they're worried they won't get everything exactly right.
I understand that feeling.
But here's what I've learned over the past decade:
Your first will doesn't have to be your last.
When Nicole and I created our will, our family and finances were much simpler than they are today. As our kids grew, we updated our documents. Years later, after paying off our home, growing our investments, and becoming business owners, we realized our estate plan needed to evolve too.
That's when we decided to create a trust.
I'm glad we didn't wait until our financial life became more complicated before creating a will. In fact, having our will in place made those later conversations much easier because we'd already worked through many of the most important decisions together.
Start with the estate plan your family needs today.
As your wealth grows and your financial life becomes more complex, you can always update your will and decide whether adding a trust makes sense.
If you're wondering when that transition typically happens, check out my guide on Will vs. Trust: Which Option Is Right for Your Family?
The important thing isn't creating the perfect estate plan.
It's creating one.
Your future self and your family will thank you for getting it done.
Common Mistakes to Avoid When Creating a Family Will
Creating a will doesn't have to be complicated, but there are a few common mistakes that can leave your family with unnecessary stress later.
Here are the biggest ones I see:
Waiting for the “perfect” time
There will always be another project, another vacation, or another excuse to push this off.
The best time to create a will is before you need one.
Forgetting to tell your executor where it's stored
A signed will only helps if your loved ones know it exists and can find it.
Make sure your executor knows where you've stored your documents and let them know if that location ever changes.
Never updating your will
Life changes.
Marriage, children, a new home, growing investments, or starting a business are all good reasons to review your estate plan.
Even if nothing major changes, revisit your will every few years to make sure it still reflects your wishes.
Thinking a will has to be perfect
It doesn't.
Your will is a living document that can be updated as your family and financial life evolve.
Getting it done today is far better than waiting years for the “perfect” estate plan.
My Final Thoughts
Creating a family will isn't anyone's idea of a fun weekend project.
I know, because Nicole and I put it off for years.
But once we finally sat down, had the important conversations, and signed the documents, we both felt an incredible sense of relief.
Looking back, I'm grateful we didn't wait any longer.
Our will protected our family when we needed it most, and it gave us a strong foundation to build on as our financial life became more complex over the years.
If you've been waiting for the perfect time to create your will, consider this your sign.
Set aside an hour this weekend.
Have the conversation.
Get it done.
Your family doesn't need a perfect will.
They just need one.
Ready to Create Your Will?
If your family is ready to take the next step, I recommend Trust & Will. It's the service Nicole and I used to create our will, and I appreciate how it makes the process straightforward, affordable, and easy to complete from home.
Continue Reading
If you're continuing your estate planning journey, these articles can help: