Money imbalance in relationships can be everything from one spouse earning more than the other to one spouse spending much more than the other. When these types of imbalances exist, resentment and tension can grow in relationships.
To help us navigate this marriage and money situation, I’ve invited Author Erin Lowry back to the show again. Erin is an award-winning writer, speaker, and author of the Broke Millennial series, which includes her latest book, the Broke Millennial Workbook: Take Control and Get Your Financial Life Together.
Overview: Dealing with a Money Imbalance in Relationships w/ Erin Lowry
Erin Lowry reviews the following:
- How financial power can affect a relationship
- Why talking about imbalances can help
- How to explore alternatives to joint bank accounts
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Here are my top three takeaways from my conversation with Erin Lowry.
Create Time and Space for Conversation
We’re all busy. Yes, I know it! But your marriage is important.
So just like you honor doctor's appointments you make or business meetings you have, be sure to set and hold time for your partner for conversations. They don’t always have to be serious conversations. Just holding time for the two of you gives space for anything important that might come up.
Lead with Empathy
When you have the opportunity for those important conversations (perhaps about how you’re feeling about any sort of imbalance in your relationship), be sure to lead with empathy.
If you feel your partner should be spending less than they are, be open to why they enjoy spending the way they do. Try to empathize with their position. In turn, they may empathize with yours. That’s how we find common ground.
Redefine Your Traditions if Needed
Just because you’ve done something the same way for a long time doesn’t mean you need to keep doing it. Especially if it’s not working!
Or perhaps it worked for a while and now it’s not anymore. That’s okay. Change is good and it’s real.
For example, if you feel a new way of managing your family finances is going to create more harmony in your relationship, try it out!
Erin Lowry brought up the “Yours, Mine and Ours” bank account style – that works well for a lot of couples.
Nicole and I have joint accounts but create budget categories that offer more autonomy in spending, but that’s something we’re analyzing more lately. We’re taking time to talk about it and I’m going to do my best to empathize with her. Hopefully, we’ll find some common ground that works for both of us.
After all, relationships aren’t about only getting your way. They are about finding a path forward together.
Guest Bio – Erin Lowry
Erin Lowry is a “financial translator” and the author of Broke Millennial series, which includes: Broke Millennial, Broke Millennial Takes On Investing, Broke Millennial Talks Money: Scripts, Stories, and Advice to Navigate Awkward Financial Conversations, and Broke Millennial Workbook: Take Control and Get Your Financial Life Together.
She also has a twice-weekly Substack newsletter called Broke Millennial with Erin Lowry. Erin lives in New York City with her husband and their rambunctious dog.
Broke Millennial Series (Book)
- Make My Kid a Millionaire Course: Want to make your kid a millionaire? Learn more about my course!
- Family Wealth + Happiness Guidebook: Get the 10 steps to young family wealth and happiness for free by signing up for our bi-weekly newsletter. This 39-page PDF gives the tools, guidance and resources to achieve your own version of family financial independence.
- MKM Coaching: Looking for someone to walk alongside you on your financial independence journey? Book some time on my calendar today.
- Corporate Financial Wellness Presentation: Contact me to discuss how I can support your company's overall financial wellness.
- Recommended Resources: You won’t reach your financial goals without the right tools. Here are my suggestions!
Carpe Diem Quote:
“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.”Leo Tolstoy
What do you think of the advice from Erin Lowry? Are you dealing with a money imbalance in your relationship?
Please let us know in the comments below.