{"id":2675,"date":"2017-12-04T03:13:50","date_gmt":"2017-12-04T07:13:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/?p=2675"},"modified":"2021-01-07T16:32:07","modified_gmt":"2021-01-07T21:32:07","slug":"how-do-i-get-my-spouse-on-board-with-budgeting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/how-do-i-get-my-spouse-on-board-with-budgeting\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do I Get My Spouse On Board With Budgeting?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/6006613\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/3a96a9\/\" width=\"100%\" height=\"90\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Last month, we <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/400000-home-paid-off-in-less-than-4-years\/\">paid off our $400,000 home<\/a> in just under 4 years. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It took a lot of diligence, patience and teamwork between my lovely bride and I, but we\u2019re proud to check this important family milestone off our list at 35 years old.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We spent some time celebrating this fun moment in our lives this weekend. Instead of burning the mortgage, my wife Nicole had a really great idea. We put together a paper mache pi\u00f1ata out of the mortgage documents.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone wp-image-2676 size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/IMG_0237.png?resize=1024%2C577&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Mortgage Pinata\" class=\"wp-image-2676\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><figcaption>Nicole Cutting the Mortgage Pi\u00f1ata<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> After the Mortgage Pi\u00f1ata was ready, we let our kids and our friend's kids hit it with a bat until it burst with candy, toys and quarters. The kids had a blast.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was an awesome metaphor actually; if we destroy our mortgage, we get rewarded!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone size-full wp-image-2677\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Screen-Shot-2017-12-03-at-10.52.28-PM.png?w=1200&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Whack That Mortgage Pinata\" class=\"wp-image-2677\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><figcaption>Whack That Mortgage Pi\u00f1ata, Zoey!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After our kids came down from their sugar high and went to bed, Nicole and I had a chance to review our budget for December. This is the first time we\u2019ve done our budget together in the last 7 years where we didn\u2019t have a mortgage payment anymore. It was nuts! This month, we had an <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/money-plans-after-the-mortgage-is-paid-off\/\">additional $2,300 to play with<\/a><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We have to be careful that we don\u2019t just upgrade our lives immediately. Yes, we\u2019ll <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/how-our-family-of-four-is-traveling-to-disneyland-for-nearly-free\/\">vacation more<\/a><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and Nicole will finally get to decorate her house after waiting 4 long years. We also need to start saving for <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/read-it-take-action-the-book-on-rental-property-investing\/\">real estate<\/a><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and investing so we continue building wealth and permanently change our family tree. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And we\u2019ll be able to do this in large part to our monthly <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/how-to-throw-a-budget-party-with-your-spouse\/\">budget parties<\/a>. Nicole, thank you for keeping this party going 7 years later!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Coincidently enough, I received a question on <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/andyhillmkm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Twitter<\/a> about the very subject of budgeting with your spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Q&Andy:<strong>&nbsp; How Do I Get My Spouse On Board with Budgeting?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>MARK:&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Hey Andy!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>I found your article on finances due to fatherhood really moving and pertinent. I\u2019m new to learning about FI and listen to a lot of podcasts related to it. Yours is going on my list.&nbsp;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>As a&nbsp;28-year-old married man who will have another mouth to feed by this time next year, is there anything you can share with me beyond the articles? Any budgeting goals or ideas? I love the idea of the budgeting parties but my wife doesn\u2019t care much about finances. She has a \u201cWe have enough to pay bills and live decently, so why make a budget\u201d mentality; or that budgets are set in stone and don\u2019t allow for flexibility. Any insight or advice is appreciated. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Thanks!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Great question Mark!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying the site and you're jumping into the <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/podcast-archive\/\">podcast<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is an extremely common question that I get a lot. One spouse gets all jacked up about saving, investing and building wealth and the other is sort of \u2026 <strong>meh<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"giphy-embed\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/PxVU1MvRUs3WE\" width=\"480\" height=\"450\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><a href=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/PxVU1MvRUs3WE\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">via GIPHY<\/a>\n\n\n\n<p>While I know very little about the dynamic of your relationship with your wife, I do know how things worked out between my wife and I in the beginning when we started budgeting together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>I\u2019ll throw out 3 suggestions from my personal experience that will hopefully help you:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">1. Speak With Your Wife FIRST About the Benefits of FI Instead of the Process<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>It sounds like both of you and your wife are currently working. Eventually she may want to stay at home with your new baby (or babies for that matter!). Getting on a budget, pursuing an FI lifestyle will help you achieve goals like that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s say she loves her job and doesn\u2019t want to eventually be a stay-at-home mom. Ask yourself, what else does she love?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Travel?<\/li><li>Does she have a hobby that makes her smile?<\/li><li>Is she passionate about a specific cause?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>When you\u2019re financially independent, she can pursue all of those things and more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re not sure what she\u2019s thrilled about \u2026 ask her. I bet she\u2019d love to tell you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My point is that us super-excited spouses (LIKE ME) need to speak about the benefits as opposed to saying \u201cHey baby, let\u2019s live on a budget!\u201d That's just not sexy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Andy's Errors<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>I started off on the wrong foot with my wife when it came to improving our finances back in the day. After reading the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1595555277\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=marri05-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1595555277&linkId=cc9b510b420c2d989e8ff06d20df30e4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Total Money Makeover<\/a> by Dave Ramsey, I was immediately was hooked. I came up to Nicole and said, \u201cHoney, I read this book. We need to sell your car and we need to live on a budget.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Was she convinced? Oh, hell no \u2026 Because living on a budget does not sound very exciting. It wasn\u2019t until later that l learned to speak her language. She dreamed of having a nice home and eventually being able to raise our kids as a <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/transitioning-from-double-income-to-single-income-to-become-a-stay-at-home-mom\/\">stay-at-home Mom<\/a>. 7 years later, we\u2019ve been able to do both of those important things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So in short Mark, speak in terms of the benefits \u2026 not the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">2. Lead by Example<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If she's not convinced by speaking about achieving your financial dreams together, I would then try to lead by example. Mark, you can start tracking your spending, your investing and making a plan for the future. Your wife will see your interest and the benefits that your diligence is providing the family and she'll eventually jump on board.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s like exercising and eating right. If you start doing it, it\u2019ll be a lot easier for her to follow you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I did the same thing with our finances early in our relationship and eventually Nicole showed an interest. Now, she\u2019s the one who\u2019s keeping me on task!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">How We Paid off $48,032 of Debt in 1 Year <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/0XihGDEVIY\">https:\/\/t.co\/0XihGDEVIY<\/a><\/p>&mdash; Andy Hill (@AndyHillMKM) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/AndyHillMKM\/status\/933010122040803331?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">November 21, 2017<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">3. Pick a Budgeting Method That Makes the Process Easy<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re living in an amazing time right now \u2026 at least for those of us who are interested in starting a budget for the first time like you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are so many options to choose from that make the process simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I started Dave Ramsey\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1938400046\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=marri05-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1938400046&linkId=655cb15f3e53c7f9f489e6d5cba908c2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Financial Peace University<\/a> course in 2010, he was all about the written budget. Pencil and paper. Hashing it out with your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fortunately, the options have progressed significantly!&nbsp;I\u2019m going over 4 of those options right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Mint<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Mint has been our go-to budgeting app for almost 5 years. It syncs all of your accounts into one convenient place, has a handy app you can use to check in our progress throughout the month AND it\u2019s free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you're interested, here's a&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/create-your-budget-on-mint-in-10-simple-steps\/\">10-step guide to signing up for Mint<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. YNAB (You Need a Budget)<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the advanced budgeter\u2019s dream. Not only does it aggregate all of your information into one convenient spot, but it helps you adjust easily when you go over budget in certain categories. That was my favorite feature when I tried it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It costs $5\/month, but they have a\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/ynab\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">free trial<\/a>\u00a0so you can give it a whirl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I had trouble syncing my wife\u2019s credit card information when we did our free trial so we didn\u2019t make the switch from Mint to YNAB.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Tiller<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>If you prefer having your own spreadsheet over online systems, this is the one for you. With <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/tiller\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Tiller<\/a> you have the ability to modify your data how you see fit. It also syncs your accounts so you can easily see how your spending shook&nbsp;out that month.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve been playing around with Tiller this month and I really enjoy the flexibility. Like YNAB, it\u2019s also $5\/month, but there is a <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/tiller\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">free trial<\/a> as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">If you&#39;re a spreadsheet budgeter and you like to get your hands in the data, Tiller might be for you. <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/BKIdJGvMYO\">https:\/\/t.co\/BKIdJGvMYO<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/budgeting?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#budgeting<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/wealthy?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#wealthy<\/a><\/p>&mdash; Andy Hill (@AndyHillMKM) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/AndyHillMKM\/status\/937541931281911808?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">December 4, 2017<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. HoneyFi<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>This one is designed for couples specifically. Both partners get hooked up to the app individually on their smartphones. Honeyfi has tracking and chat features that allows you to easily check in on certain expenses. One of the founders of <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/honeyfi\" target=\"_blank\">Honeyfi<\/a> told me that his wife uses this feature as a good way to harass him when he gets fast food too much!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Those are the 4 apps that I\u2019ve personally spent time on. You\u2019ll have to choose which one makes most sense for your situation, Mark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mint has worked well for us for a long time, but I really like how companies like Tiller and Honeyfi are niching down even further to speak to individual groups of people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I hope the conversations with your wife go well, Mark! Whatever you choose to do, don't forget &#8230; Happy wife, happy life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Show Resources<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><em>(The resources below may provide me a commission that will support the management of this site and podcast \u2013 thanks!)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Budgeting<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul><li><strong>Mint<\/strong>:\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/create-your-budget-on-mint-in-10-simple-steps\/\">Create Your Budget on Mint in 10 Simple Steps<\/a><\/li><li><strong>YNAB<\/strong>:\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/ynab\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Free Trial<\/a><\/li><li><strong>Tiller<\/strong>:\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/Tiller\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Free Trial<\/a><\/li><li><strong>Honeyfi<\/strong>:\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/honeyfi\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Try Honeyfi Today<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>I truly appreciate the support everyone!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Questions?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019d love to hear from you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Connect with me on&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/andyhillmkm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Twitter<\/a>,&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/AndyHillMKM\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Facebook<\/a>&nbsp;or&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/marriagekidsandmoney.com\/contactme\/\">shoot me an email.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019d like your question featured on the show, reach out and let me know. It would be my honor to support you in your journey toward financial freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Carpe Diem Quote<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cAlone we can do so little; together, we can do so much.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">-Helen Keller<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How do you manage your finances with your spouse?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Please let me know in the comments below. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last month, we paid off our $400,000 home in just under 4 years. It took a lot of diligence, patience and teamwork between my lovely bride and I, but we\u2019re proud to check this important family milestone off our list at 35 years old. We spent some time celebrating this fun moment in our lives [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":10398,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[68,119,120],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v22.4 (Yoast SEO v22.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Do I Get My Spouse On Board With Budgeting? &#8211; Marriage Kids and Money<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mark asks for advice on how we can get his wife on board with budgeting. 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