About seven years ago, my wife Nicole and I were walking through rundown rental properties around Metro Detroit.

At the time, we were deep into our pursuit of financial independence. We'd spent years saving aggressively and investing consistently. Our latest plan was to save enough cash to buy rental properties outright and create passive income without taking on mortgages.

On paper, it looked like a smart move.

In reality, it felt impossible.

As we walked through another property, all I could think about was the renovation work ahead. Nicole was thinking about late-night tenant calls, broken furnaces, and maintenance headaches.

We looked at each other and came to the same conclusion:

“We don't want this life.”

That moment changed everything.

Up until then, I had been following a version of the FIRE movement that many people know well: save aggressively, invest heavily, sacrifice now, and someday you'll be free.

But standing in those properties, I started to realize something important:

Financial freedom isn't about the mass accumulation of money and assets.

It's about using your wealth to own your time.

And for many families, there's a better path than traditional FIRE.

Why Traditional FIRE Doesn't Work for Most Families

To be clear, I have a lot of respect for the FIRE movement.

It taught me the power of intentional spending, low-cost index fund investing and how to build wealth faster than I ever thought possible.

But as Nicole and I pursued it more aggressively, we started to feel the downsides.

I became obsessed with maximizing retirement accounts. Every dollar had a job, every expense was scrutinized and every financial decision was filtered through the question: “Will this get us to financial independence faster?”

The problem was that parenting already requires sacrifice.

Marriage requires sacrifice.

Building a career requires sacrifice.

For many families, life already feels full before they discover the FIRE movement.

You're raising kids, managing a household, juggling work responsibilities, trying to stay healthy, maintaining relationships, and attempting to find a little time for yourself somewhere in the process. It's no surprise that the U.S. Surgeon General recently issued an advisory highlighting the growing stress levels and mental health challenges facing parents and caregivers.

That's why I started to question whether adding another layer of sacrifice was really the answer.

If the goal of financial independence is to improve your life, what happens when the pursuit of financial independence starts making your life less enjoyable?

For Nicole and me, that question came to a head during what we now call our “volcano fight.”

She helped me see something I wasn't seeing. While I was busy maximizing future wealth, I was minimizing current enjoyment. I was helping Future Andy while Current Andy, Current Nicole, and our kids were getting less.

That's when I started questioning the premise.

Why was I sacrificing so much of today in hopes of enjoying tomorrow?

And what if tomorrow never looked the way I imagined?

The truth is that many people pursuing traditional FIRE spend decades chasing a future version of life while missing opportunities to enjoy the one they're already living. They postpone travel, hobbies, experiences, and sometimes even relationships in pursuit of a number on a spreadsheet.

That's not freedom.

That's deferred living.

The Financial Independence Cheat Code

The biggest lesson I've learned over the past decade is this:

Traditional FIRE asks you to become financially independent before you reclaim your time.

I think there's a better way.

The financial independence cheat code for parents looks like this:

Coast FIRE + FU Money + Part-Time Work = Freedom Now

This approach doesn't require a multimillion-dollar portfolio.

It doesn't require retiring completely.

It doesn't require decades of waiting.

Instead, it helps you create more freedom much sooner.

Step #1: Reach Coast FIRE

Coast FIRE is one of the most practical concepts in personal finance.

The idea is simple: build a portfolio large enough that compound growth can do most of the heavy lifting for your future retirement.

Once you hit that number, you don't need to obsess over maximizing retirement contributions anymore. You can let time and compounding work on your behalf.

For Nicole and me, that number was roughly $500,000 to $550,000 invested by age 40. Assuming a 6% real rate of return, we estimated that portfolio could grow to around $2 million by traditional retirement age without significant additional contributions.

That realization changed everything.

Instead of pouring every available dollar into retirement accounts, we could begin redirecting money toward flexibility, family experiences, and lifestyle design.

Coast FIRE isn't about never working again.

It's about knowing that your retirement is already largely handled. Check out our article on Coast FIRE by age 30, 40 and 50 to learn more about this financial independence concept.

Step #2: Build FU Money

The second part of the cheat code is FU Money.

I define FU Money as having enough accessible cash to create options.

For most families, that means 6-12 months of expenses.

It's not retirement money … It's confidence money and opportunity money.

It's the money that allows you to make decisions based on what you actually want instead of what your paycheck demands.

FU Money can help you leave a toxic job, turn down a promotion you don't want, negotiate fewer hours, take a sabbatical, or explore a completely different career path.

For us, FU Money became the bridge between our old life and our new one.

After abandoning the rental property idea, Nicole said something that changed my life:

“Why don't you use that money to make Marriage Kids and Money your full-time job?”

I hadn't seriously considered the solopreneur route as part of our financial independence plan.

At the time, I was earning around $180,000 per year in corporate marketing. Walking away from that income felt risky.

But because we had built FU Money, the decision became possible.

Not easy.

But possible.

Step #3: Work Less and Gain More Control

This is where I think many people misunderstand financial freedom.

The goal isn't retirement.

The goal is control.

When I left my corporate career, I wasn't replacing my income.

My first year running Marriage Kids and Money full-time generated roughly $70,000 in revenue. I paid myself somewhere around $30,000 to $40,000.

Financially, it looked like a terrible trade.

From a life perspective, it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I gained control over my schedule, more time with my family and the opportunity to build something meaningful.

Over time, the business grew. Today, my solopreneur business generates around $300,000 annually, and I pay myself approximately what I earned in corporate America.

But the important lesson isn't that the income eventually recovered.

The important lesson is that freedom started long before the income recovered.

For some people, that freedom might come through solopreneurship. For others, it may come from negotiating a four-day workweek, working part-time, consulting, freelancing, or finding a role with greater flexibility.

The specific path matters less than the outcome.

The goal is to create more control over your time while still earning enough income to support your family.

What Do You Do With All The Extra Time?

This is the question many people ask when they hear about Coast FIRE.

If you're working less, what do you actually do with those extra hours?

The answer depends entirely on your intentions.

More free time can be wasted just as easily as it can be invested. Some people might use it to scroll social media, binge television, or develop unhealthy habits.

I've tried to do the opposite.

Today, I work roughly 20 hours per week. That has given me back approximately 20 hours every week compared to my old corporate life.

I've invested much of that time into my marriage. Nicole and I have slow coffee together after the kids leave for school. We go for runs together several times per week. We have more conversations and less rushing.

I've invested more time into my health. I exercise between 5-7 hours per week through strength training, Zone 2 cardio, interval training, and mobility work. At a recent doctor's appointment, my physician told me I looked very healthy for my age group and I don't need the cholesterol medication she once recommended.

I've also gained something that is harder to measure but perhaps more valuable: mental space.

When I worked a traditional five-day schedule, Friday ended with thoughts about work. Saturday was often spent processing the previous week. Sunday became preparation for Monday.

My brain never really rested.

Now, Friday serves as a transition day. By the time the weekend arrives, I can actually be present with my family instead of mentally living at work.

That margin has been life-changing.

Real People Are Already Doing This

I've interviewed hundreds of people over the years, and many have followed versions of this path.

Kristen Sweeting started a photography business that eventually grew into a luxury brand serving clients around the world. Today she works roughly 20 hours per week and has built a highly profitable business around her talents and interests.

Colin Graves left a banking career that wasn't aligned with the life he wanted as a father. He began writing, developed freelance opportunities, and eventually built a business that allows him to earn a strong income while working fewer hours.

Angela Rozmyn took a different approach. After reaching Coast FIRE, she used her financial strength to negotiate part-time work with her existing employer. She didn't quit her career. She redesigned it.

While their paths look very different, all three made a similar decision. They used financial strength to gain more control over their time rather than waiting until traditional retirement age to start living differently.

The Missing Ingredient: Contentment

There's one more ingredient that makes this entire strategy work.

Contentment.

Without contentment, no amount of money will ever feel like enough.

There will always be a bigger house, a nicer car, a more expensive vacation and a more impressive lifestyle. 

I've had to wrestle with this situation and my own ego.

I live in a community where people have larger homes than I do. Fancier cars. More expensive hobbies. It's easy to compare.

But I've also realized that more stuff often requires more work.

A bigger house means more maintenance.

A more expensive lifestyle requires more income.

More consumption often demands more hours.

The cycle never ends.

Contentment isn't deprivation.

Contentment is deciding what is enough.

And when you decide what is enough, you gain something incredibly valuable:

Margin.

The Real Goal Isn't Retirement

One of the biggest mistakes people make is putting retirement on a pedestal.

They imagine that life will finally begin once they stop working.

But retirement isn't a magic switch.

If work is your only identity, retirement can feel surprisingly empty.

That's why I believe it's important to build the rest of your life now.

When I think about someone successfully following this path, I don't picture a person sitting on a couch doing nothing.

I picture someone who has spent the last decade building a life that isn't entirely centered around work.

By reaching Coast FIRE, building FU Money, and creating more flexibility in their schedule, they've had the opportunity to explore other parts of themselves.

Maybe they've become a …

• More engaged parent
• Runner
• Volunteer
• Solo business owner
• An Artist
• Coach
• Musician
• Community leader
• Better friend
• Stronger spouse

The specific identities will be different for everyone, but the opportunity is the same.

Instead of spending 30 years building a single identity as a worker and then hoping retirement magically creates fulfillment, they've spent years intentionally developing a richer and more diversified life.

By age 50, they aren't defined by what they do for a living.

They're someone who contains multitudes.

And to me, that's a much more exciting version of financial independence.

The Middle Way

Traditional FIRE isn't wrong. For some people, it's exactly the right path.

But for many parents, it asks for too much sacrifice for too long.

The middle way offers another option.

• Reach Coast FIRE.
• Build FU Money.
• Work less.
• Create more flexibility.
• Spend more time with the people you love.
• Take care of your health.
• Develop interests outside of work.
• Enjoy your life while you're living it.

If I could go back and talk to my 35-year-old self, I'd tell him to ease up on the gas.

Keep saving, investing and planning for the future … yes for sure.

But don't become so obsessed with maximizing every dollar that you forget to maximize your life.

Because your better life doesn't need to wait until you're 65.

It doesn't even need to wait until you're fully financially independent.

With enough financial strength, enough contentment, and enough courage, your better life can start now.

To explore more stories and details on The Middle Way to family financial independence, check out my book Own Your Time.