When we talk about financial freedom, most of us think in terms of budgeting, investing, and debt payoff. But what if the biggest thing holding you back isn’t money itself, but everything but money?

On a recent episode, I sat down with Jessica Moorhouse, Canadian financial counselor, award-winning content creator, and the author of the best-selling book Everything But Money: The Hidden Barriers Between You and Financial Freedom. Together, we explored the concept of money trauma, its roots in our childhood, and how it can quietly sabotage our financial goals.

What is Money Trauma?

“Trauma just means an emotional wound that is yet to be healed,” Jessica explained. “Most of us have some sort of traumatic experience. But when that emotional wound involves money, it can shape the way we earn, spend, save, and think about our financial future.”

Jessica distinguishes between big T and little t trauma. Big T trauma includes things like bankruptcy or financial abuse, major life events that can derail a person’s financial confidence. Little t trauma might be something subtler, like being constantly criticized for spending as a child or watching your parents struggle with bills. These seemingly small experiences can have lasting effects on how we manage money as adults.

One of Jessica’s goals with her book is to help people recognize these wounds so they can begin to heal them. “You’re going to get stuck in certain cycles, especially with your money,” she said, “and potentially use money as a way to self-soothe.”

Generational Wounds That Run Deep

Jessica shared an example from her own life. Despite being financially savvy, she had a deep-seated fear of losing her home. It wasn’t until she researched her family history that she uncovered generations of instability—stories of lost homes, bankruptcies, and even gambling-related evictions.

“These stories weren’t even passed down directly,” she explained. “But that fear got transferred, and I carried it with me.” Through therapy and reflection, Jessica realized she didn’t have to carry that burden anymore. “I can let it go. I don’t have to keep this with me.”

Can Trauma Be a Motivator?

I asked Jessica whether money trauma can ever be a source of motivation. After all, many of us—including myself—use past experiences as fuel to push forward.

She acknowledged that trauma can sometimes drive short-term success, but cautioned against using it as a long-term strategy. “I turned a lot of those traumas into hustle and achievement. But no matter how much I earned or accomplished, I still didn’t feel good enough. Money and accolades are just band-aids. They don’t heal emotional wounds.”

That hit home for me. As someone who once hustled hard to pay off my mortgage, I realized that even positive financial goals can sometimes stem from past pain.

Healing Through Therapy and Self-Discovery

So, how do we address these deeper issues? According to Jessica, it often starts with professional support.

“You can’t therapy yourself,” she said. “Even though I had been in therapy for years, it wasn’t until I tried different forms like EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS) that I really started to understand and heal.”

These methods helped her process traumas that had been buried since childhood, including one that originated when she was just six years old. “I realized I changed my entire personality after my sister was born. I became quieter, less seen, and that showed up in my money story for decades.”

Jessica describes the relief she felt after finally releasing those emotions as “like letting go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding.”

Supporting Your Mental Health (and Your Wallet)

While professional therapy may be the key to healing deep trauma, Jessica encourages everyone to find practices that support emotional well-being on a daily basis.

She mentioned mindfulness, positive self-talk, exercise, and doing things simply for fun—like puzzles or watching feel-good shows. “I used to think I didn’t have time for that,” she said. “But if I’m always working and hustling, what am I working for?”

As a parent, I related hard to this. There’s always another task or milestone, and not enough time to enjoy what we’ve already built.

Jessica also emphasized gratitude and self-compassion. “I’d never talk to a friend the way I sometimes talk to myself,” she shared. Now, she catches her inner critic and gives herself more grace—something I think we could all use more of.

How to Start Unpacking Your Own Money Story

If this conversation resonated with you, Jessica recommends one simple first step: recall your first money memory.

“What’s the first experience you can remember involving money?” she asked. “Was it a time you felt shame, guilt, or anxiety? Start there. That can help you make sense of your current money behavior.”

For Jessica, that moment was stealing a gumball as a kid, and feeling overwhelming guilt. That early experience became deeply connected to how she viewed money later in life.

This exercise—and many others like it—can help you unpack your past and reshape your financial future. And it’s one of many found in her book, Everything But Money.

Teaching Our Kids a Healthier Money Mindset

Of course, as a parent, this raised a big question for me: how do we avoid passing our own money baggage onto our kids?

Jessica’s advice: “Be aware of how you talk about money around your children. They’re always listening. Even if you think they’re not, they are.”

She also encourages removing shame from money conversations. “Try to reframe money not as something scary or burdensome, but as a tool for opportunity and joy.”

If you want to help your kids build a healthy relationship with money, start with small, positive conversations. This guide on financial literacy for kids can help you begin.

Aligning Your Money with Your Values

Ultimately, healing from money trauma also means learning to manage your money in a way that aligns with your values, not your fears.

Whether it’s building an emergency fund, using a budgeting app as a couple, or simply learning how to say no to overspending, the goal is to create a life that reflects who you are, not just what you’re afraid of.

And when your financial plan is grounded in self-awareness and emotional resilience, that’s when real freedom begins.

Final Thoughts on Jessica Moorhouse and Money Trauma

Jessica Moorhouse’s book, Everything But Money, is a much-needed exploration of the emotional and psychological forces that shape our financial lives. It’s packed with personal stories, guided exercises, and actionable advice that can help anyone begin their healing journey.

If you want to dig deeper into your own money story—and finally break free from the hidden barriers between you and financial peace—grab a copy of her book.

You can also connect with Jessica and find all her resources at jessicamoorhouse.com

What do you think of the advice from Jessica Moorhouse? Has Big T or little t money trauma impacted you?

Please let us know in the comments below.