Money and divorce are closely connected.

Disagreements about finances are one of the leading causes of divorce in America. But most marriages don’t collapse overnight because of money. The breakdown usually starts small with misalignment, secrecy, or resentment that quietly builds over time.

To better understand how money and divorce intersect, I spoke with divorce attorney Maria Simon. Maria is the Managing Partner at Geller Law Group in the Washington, DC area, where she specializes in family law, divorce, custody disputes, and collaborative divorce.

What she sees every day reinforces one powerful truth: most financial divorces could have started as communication issues.

Why Money and Divorce Are So Closely Connected

When I asked Maria what financial issues most commonly lead couples to divorce, she didn’t hesitate.

“At their basics,” she said, “they have not been together with how to spend money. One person is a saver, one person is the spender. And over the years, there’s a resentment that builds up.”

That resentment is often the first crack.

One spouse feels they are carrying the financial discipline. The other feels restricted or criticized. Over time, the emotional toll becomes bigger than the dollars involved.

Then there’s the second layer: financial infidelity.

Maria described situations where a spouse uncovers hidden debt, gambling expenses, secret credit cards, or even tax liabilities they didn’t know existed.

“I didn’t know we had this much credit card debt,” she shared her client's common reactions. “I didn’t know about the tax debt.”

Sometimes it’s thousands of dollars. Sometimes it’s millions. But the real damage is the betrayal of trust.

She sees this often in marriages where one person manages the finances while the other stays completely in the dark. That imbalance can create suspicion and fear, even when the money itself is manageable.

Money and divorce often begin with secrecy, not bankruptcy.

The Preventable Mistakes That Lead to Divorce

The encouraging part of my conversation with Maria is this: many of these issues are preventable.

The biggest mistake she sees is a lack of transparency.

Couples who don’t regularly review accounts together are more vulnerable to resentment, surprises, and distrust. Even in healthy marriages, she recommends knowing what you have and what you owe.

As someone who has been married for years and raising two kids with my wife, I can say this from experience. My early pursuit of financial independence and freedom from my corporate life caused real tension in our relationship. We were not aligned. It eventually led us to marriage counseling.

That counseling helped us reset.

Today, we have Money Dates twice per month to review our finances and work toward shared goals. If you’re curious about how we structure those, I’ve written about it here: How to Create a Money Date with Your Spouse.

We also use Monarch Money to keep our accounts transparent and accessible to both of us. When both partners see the same numbers, it reduces suspicion and increases teamwork.

If you’re looking for other tools to help you stay aligned, here are some of the best budget apps for couples and families.

Because when it comes to money and divorce, silence is expensive.

If Divorce Is Inevitable, Protect Yourself Financially

While we're focusing mostly on prevention, Maria was clear about preparation. If divorce becomes necessary, information is power.

“Know what you’ve got,” she advised. Download bank statements. Retirement statements. Tax returns. At least two years’ worth.

Coming into a legal consultation prepared changes the entire dynamic. It prevents delays and reduces costs.

She also emphasized the importance of understanding how retirement accounts are divided. Without proper court orders, withdrawing funds can trigger taxes and penalties that hurt both parties financially.

And then there’s the cost of litigation.

“If we’re going all the way through trial,” Maria said, “you could be looking at $200,000.”

That number alone is a reminder that fighting over principle can destroy wealth.

One of the biggest cost drivers is the discovery process, where attorneys gather financial documents. Clients who provide documentation quickly reduce billable hours significantly.

Money and divorce become far more expensive when preparation is ignored.

Common Financial Mistakes During Divorce

Maria sees the same mistakes repeatedly.

First, refusing to hire an attorney to “save money.” Ironically, this often increases costs because misunderstandings drag out negotiations.

Second, fighting over small percentage differences in asset division that cost more in legal fees than the value being disputed.

“Are we fighting over 51% versus 49%?” she asked. “Maybe that one percent isn’t worth it.”

Third, failing to secure short-term financial stability. Maria advises clients to ensure access to cash and credit in the early stages so they are not left vulnerable.

These are practical realities that many people do not consider until they are already overwhelmed.

The Best Defense Against Money and Divorce

The most powerful takeaway from my conversation with Maria is this: prevention is cheaper than litigation.

Regular money conversations. Transparency around accounts. Early counseling when resentment builds.

If you’re engaged, you may even consider discussing the pros and cons of a prenuptial agreement. Not because you expect divorce, but because clarity can strengthen communication.

Money is emotional. Divorce is emotional. When the two collide, the impact is amplified.

But proactive couples can reduce the risk.

If you want to take a step toward strengthening your marriage financially, you can learn more about my book Own Your Time here: Own Your Time. It’s designed to help couples build shared goals and thrive together, not just survive tough seasons.

Because while Maria Simon sees what happens when money and divorce collide, many of us still have the opportunity to build something stronger today.

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